Dogs & Cats

[Southern Man]

Subject: Dogs and Cats

The question posed: "How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?"

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

Rottweiler: Make me.

Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!

German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb?

****er Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

Pointer: I see the burned out bulb, there it is, there it is, right there.....

Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle..

Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

The Cat: "Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?"

ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF.

[cloasters]

This one is a multi- LOL. Five stars, thanks Southern Man!

[DimViesel]

The funniest thing here is how the ****er-spaniel's name has been censored!?
Madness. Would me typing a joke about a ****erel, would it have the same effect on the 'offending'(!?) section of the word?

*edit*
Hilarious! This is bonkers!
So if I were to wish to state that I was certainly not ****-a-hoop about this nonsense...or that I felt this occurance would be fit for a ****-and-bull story told by a ****-eyed old gentleman wearing a ****ed hat, would this be wrong?

Brace yourselves, dear decent and God-fearing folk, here follow some other words apparently unfit for general consumption:
****ade
****atoo
****atrice
****chafer
****er -the breed of spaniel whose mention in jest brought this phenomenon to my attention.
I can't even speak of the edible seafish...even food is censored: ****le.
Dick Van Dyke - (good grief is that a rougue set of words for a blanket censorship rule to go to work on), and his old mockney / ****ney accent attempt will have to go.
What do we find at the front of aircraft? ****pit?
****roach - Allegedly these will outlast us in many of the world levelling events that will encapsulate the end of this particular incarnation of the human race (not the most encouraging of thoughts I know, still sobering and humbling on some level), and can survive for 14 days without their heads! (Insects are truly awesome in their ruggedness, and some of the most hardy macroscopic beings I know of).
****scomb - the crest of this young male fowl.
****sure - see below.
****tail- If you have ever succumbed to the temptation of these varied and potentially potent concoctions I am sure you have regretted it later.
****y - perhaps it can be said you were somewhat ****sure even ****y to presume you would survive your having imbibed unscathed.

Nice to see that the censorship algorithm realises that Dick-Van-Dyke is a perfectly innocuous Disney-worthy actor's name, and nothing to do with the abhorrent modern inferences which those words have come to acquire through vulgar use! LOL, LOL & LOL!

Diesel

(However it does lead on to wonder, if one is allowed to type 'penis'?)

[DimViesel]

PS Southern I see you are still going after the Mexican vote with the chihuahua element in that joke. It is good to see a real authentic Mexican attitude accurately embodied as opposed to the usual stereotypes usually involving some 'typical' Mexican food in some form or another.
(For more examples of Mexican foods being represented in an unbiased fashion see Southern's sig.)

Note: This is being said in a Just for Laughs forum ppl, leave your 'indignation' on the doorstep...

Kudos on the conclusion: I have been trying to inform ppl of cat's insidious plans to subordinate our race for years.

[SiGmA_X]

Auto****er, '****er - High end paintball markers.. All censored

[cloasters]

Originally Posted by Southern Man

Subject: Dogs and Cats

The question posed: "How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?"

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

Rottweiler: Make me.

Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!

German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb?

****er Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

Pointer: I see the burned out bulb, there it is, there it is, right there.....

Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle..

Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

The Cat: "Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?"

ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF.

A good one from the past, thought I'd "flag" it for more modern use.