Today's joke !

[chrisbard]

FHM.COM

[Samuknow]

Dude.....that is great

YouTube - Super Models Falling

[Strongwolf]

Cool!!

[chrisbard]

YouTube - george bush is funny

My favorite one!

"you can't take the high horse and then climb the low road!"

GB

YouTube - Great Moments In Presidential Speeches Compilation

YouTube - LETTERMAN 'TOP TEN GEORGE W. BUSH MOMENTS' CORRESPONDENTS' D

[Samuknow]

Not much of a speaker now is he?

The funny thing is that he doesn't really care either.

[Daniel ~]

Finger puppet.":O}

[ccperf721p]

A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Sheriff's Deputy.

He thinks that he is smarter than the Deputy because he is sure that he has a better education.
He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the deputies expense...


Deputy says, "License and registration, please."


Lawyer says, "What for?"


Deputy says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign "


Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."


Deputy says, "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and registration, please."


Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"


Deputy says, "The difference is, you have to come to a complete stop, that's the law. License and registration, please!"


Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration
and you give me the ticket, if not you let me go and no ticket."


Deputy says, "Exit your vehicle, sir."


At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the ever-loving crap out of the lawyer and says:


"Do you want me to stop or just slow down?"

[Wolf2000me]

A woman with a rather big bottom is on consultation with the doctor.
She tells him she thinks her breasts are too small and asks the doctor what she should try without resorting to plastic surgery.

The doctor sais, "well... Perhaps you should try taking paper towel and rub it between your breasts".

The woman looks a bit puzzeled by that advice and asks him, "Does that really work doctor? I mean, I've never heard of such a treatment".

The doctor replies with a nasty grin on his face, "I'd say it works yes, look at your bottom!"

[Favu]

Lols!

[chrisbard]

I can tell Wolf doesnt live in Sweden

[Strongwolf]

Are you talking to me? Are you talking? You must be talking to me cause I don't anyone else here! Woooooooooolffffffff!!!! Sunday+Tuesday= Friday. We are family, I got all my brothers with me (funky music in the bacground). Toilets,...yeah that is toilets. Where's Toro. Carpe diem" to you all.

[chrisbard]

LOL Wolfy

PS "Ece Anubis !"

[Strongwolf]

PS "Ece Anubis !"[/quote]

[chrisbard]

Osiris took over then

[ccperf721p]

REPLACEMENT WINDOWS

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with that
expensive
double-pane energy efficient kind, and today, I got a call from the
contractor who installed them.

He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year
ago and I still hadn't paid for them. Hellloooo,...........just because
I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid.

So, I told him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me
last year, that in ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves!

Helllooooo? It's been a year! I told him.

There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally
just hung up. He never called back. Guess I won that stupid
argument.

I bet he felt like an idiot!!!!

[Samuknow]

Brilliant....

[chrisbard]

A pregnant Irish woman from Dublin is involved in a car accident and
falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly 6 months, when she wakes
up she sees that she is no longer pregnant and frantically asks the
doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, "Ma'am you had twins! A boy and a girl. Your Uncle
from Cork came in and named them."

The woman thinks to herself, "Oh No, not my Uncle... he's an nutcase!"

She asks the doctor,” Well, what's the girl's name?"

"Denise."

"Wow, that's not a bad name, I like it! What's the boy's name?"

"Denephew."

[chrisbard]

Waitress: Hawaii, Mister? You must be Hungary.

Gent: Yes, Siam. And I can't Rumania long, either. Venice lunch ready?

Waitress: I'll Russia table. What are you Ghana Havre? Aix?

Gent: You want Tibet? I prefer Turkey. Can Jamaica cook step on the Gaza bit?

Waitress: Odessa laugh! Alaska, but listen for her Wales.

Gent: I'm not Balkan. Just put a Cuba sugar in my Java.

Waitress: Don't you be Sicily, big boy. Sweden it yourself. I'm only here to
Serbia.

Gent: Denmark my check and call the Bosphorus, Egypt me. There's an
Eire. I hope he'll Kenya. I don't Bolivia know who I am!

Waitress: Canada noise! I don't Caribbean. You sure Ararat!

Gent: Samoa your wisecracks? What's got India? D'you think this arguing Alps
business? Why be so Chile? Be Nice!

Waitress: Don't Kiev me that Boulogne! Alemain do! Spain in the neck. Pay
your Czech and don't Kuwait. Ayssinia!

Gent (to himself): I'll come back with my France and Taiwan on Zanzibar is
open.

[Daniel ~]

Originally Posted by ccperf721p

REPLACEMENT WINDOWS

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with that
expensive
double-pane energy efficient kind, and today, I got a call from the
contractor who installed them.

He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year
ago and I still hadn't paid for them. Hellloooo,...........just because
I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid.

So, I told him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me
last year, that in ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves!

Helllooooo? It's been a year! I told him.

There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally
just hung up. He never called back. Guess I won that stupid
argument.

I bet he felt like an idiot!!!!

Some battles you just have to walk away from and lick your wounds! LOL