What Men Expect and What Men Get in a Marriage.

[mookydooky]

WHAT MEN EXPECT IN A WIFE

* She will always be beautiful and cheerful.

* She could marry a movie star, but wants only you.

* She will have hair that never needs curlers or beauty shops.

* Her beauty won't run in a rainstorm.

* She will never be sick--just allergic to jewelry and fur coats.

* She will insist that moving the furniture by herself, it's good for her figure.

* She will be an expert in cooking, cleaning house, fixing the car or TV, painting the house, and keeping quiet.

* Her favorite hobbies will be mowing the lawn and shoveling snow.

* She will hate charge cards.

* Her favorite expression will be, "What can I do for you, Dear?"

* She will think you have Einstein's brain but look like Mr. America.

* She will wish you would go out with the boys so that she could get some sewing done.

* She will love you because you're so sexy.



WHAT MEN GET IN A WIFE

* She speaks 140 words a minute, with gusts up to 180.

* She was once a model for a totem pole.

* Where there's smoke, there she is-- cooking.

* She's a light eater...once it gets light, she starts eating.

* She lets you know you only have two faults: everything you do, and everything you say.

* No matter what she does with it, her hair looks like an explosion in a steel wool factory.

* If you get lost, open your wallet and she'll find you.