Please stop blaming others for your mistakes!!!

robbie · #1 (**permalink**) 13th April, 2004, 08:47 AM

I'm SOOOOO tired of lazy @$$ parents that don't take care of there kids or keep an eye on them BLAME somebody else. It's the same crowd that whine's about all the violence on TV. If you don't want your kids to see those things then YOU stop them from doing it. Stop trying to force what you think is wrong onto everyone else!!!

Read it about it here
Rob

Allan · #2 (**permalink**) 13th April, 2004, 08:54 AM

I hear you, Robbie!

It is always somebody else's fault...

R0BB23 · #3 (**permalink**) 13th April, 2004, 09:18 AM

I can half understand parents in these situations doing crap like that. People who have lost someone have done some pretty crazy stuff.

I hate the fact that everyone around them takes them so seriously. Its like oh well they've lost there child so we have too.

robbie · #4 (**permalink**) 13th April, 2004, 08:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by R0BB23

I can half understand parents in these situations doing crap like that. People who have lost someone have done some pretty crazy stuff.

I hate the fact that everyone around them takes them so seriously. Its like oh well they've lost there child so we have too.

I agree, sometimes it's really hard to look inward usually people look outward and blame others, and when they can do that they can SUE for millions and say "but it's all for the children" and feel justified in doing so.
meanwhile they go out and buy a new house or bigger car. (can't understand why as it seems they have fewer people to house or drag around now) And hell why not, this IS america!! Land of the free and home of the sue happy!!!

So please go out and blame others for your short commings!!!!

(really really it's not my fault I eat McDonald's every day, they put a gun to my head and force that cheeseburger down my throut)

Sorry, I just can't stand it sometimes. If my either one of my daughters ever climbs a clock tower and starts taking out people with a high powered rifle I'm NOT going to blame society. I'm going to look in the mirror with there mother standing right next to me and wonder were we failed.
$.02
Rob

R0BB23 · #5 (**permalink**) 14th April, 2004, 08:33 AM

Hell parents dont even have to blame themselves. Every single parent is thrown into this situation where they know there destination but have no clue how to get there. One has just got to do the best they can and sometimes thats just not enough.

Not to mention there are also many other factors in how a person turns out, even with a parents best efforts a large amount of those factors are going to stay out of there reach.

Gizmo · #6 (**permalink**) 14th April, 2004, 08:49 AM

You are right that there are a lot of things that can have an influence in a child's life that a parent has no direct control over. However, ultimately, the parent is the one who is directly responsible for the welfare of the child, and the parent is the one who has to try to counteract those external influences. While they may not be able to completely eliminate the influences, it has been my experience that once you identify the problem, even if you can't solve it, there is almost always something you can do to minimize it.

R0BB23 · #7 (**permalink**) 14th April, 2004, 09:40 AM

Well im not trying to get to technical here, even if we debated parenting we would eventually hit a dead end seeing how we really only now so much about we causes a person to turn out the way they are is still a mystery.

With my post i was just trying to say if a person tried there best and their child still turned out to be a drug addict, murderer, etc. that they shouldnt go around blaming themselves.

Though from what i've seen with the average parent, when it comes to there kids logic goes out the window. No matter what i say theyll probably blame themselves even if they believe what im saying is true and know they did their best.

Critical Bill · #8 (**permalink**) 16th April, 2004, 04:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by robbie

I'm SOOOOO tired of lazy @$$ parents that don't take care of there kids or keep an eye on them BLAME somebody else. It's the same crowd that whine's about all the violence on TV. If you don't want your kids to see those things then YOU stop them from doing it. Stop trying to force what you think is wrong onto everyone else!!!

Read it about it here
Rob

But wait...since Al Gore invented the internet, shouldn't he share some of the blame in this bright young mans death?

robbie · #9 (**permalink**) 16th April, 2004, 08:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Critical Bill

But wait...since Al Gore invented the internet, shouldn't he share some of the blame in this bright young mans death?

I agree, I say we hold Al Gore responsable and let the media decide he's guilty without a trail and then send him straight to the gas chamber.

Rob

dod · #10 (**permalink**) 16th April, 2004, 09:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by R0BB23

Well im not trying to get to technical here, even if we debated parenting we would eventually hit a dead end seeing how we really only now so much about we causes a person to turn out the way they are is still a mystery.

With my post i was just trying to say if a person tried there best and their child still turned out to be a drug addict, murderer, etc. that they shouldnt go around blaming themselves.

Though from what i've seen with the average parent, when it comes to there kids logic goes out the window. No matter what i say theyll probably blame themselves even if they believe what im saying is true and know they did their best.

I can see where you're coming from but I'm not sure I totally agree with that Robb.

My sister's a teacher. Couple of years ago she had a 9 year old come into school with a stanley knife. She removed it from him and sure enough, next day, here come the parents. Complaint was that she hadn't returned their little cherub's property and SHE should be disciplined

I wouldn't do her job if they added a couple of 00's to the salary.

R0BB23 · #11 (**permalink**) 16th April, 2004, 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dod

I can see where you're coming from but I'm not sure I totally agree with that Robb.

My sister's a teacher. Couple of years ago she had a 9 year old come into school with a stanley knife. She removed it from him and sure enough, next day, here come the parents. Complaint was that she hadn't returned their little cherub's property and SHE should be disciplined

I wouldn't do her job if they added a couple of 00's to the salary.

Sorry, I dont exactly see what your getting at?

Call me Rob, by the way.

dod · #12 (**permalink**) 16th April, 2004, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by R0BB23

Sorry, I dont exactly see what your getting at?

Call me Rob, by the way.

Ohoh, I'll probably end up in trouble here

Just that I think there are less parents now who do actually blame themselves for the behaviour of their children, nor accept responsibility for that behaviour. Far easier to blame society, the teacher, Zippy or Bungle

In the situation I mentioned there was no concern or remorse for the kid having the knife at school, just annoyance that it had been taken away.

Spoken like a true non parent by the way

R0BB23 · #13 (**permalink**) 16th April, 2004, 03:14 PM

Ok i think i understand a little better at what your getting at.

Well of course if they didnt do there best job as a parent sure they are to blame, and yes blaming soceity or whatever is not a good thing to do. Even if there is some blame eslewhere.

The reality is though that despite the parents best efforts, their child could still turn out to be screwed up. Why should someone tear themselves apart with guilt after there childs commited suicide or to become a criminal if they did all they could?

Ha, this thread reminds me of a line from Akira Kurosawa's Stray Dogs, "Mothers are the best prosecutors."

robbie · #14 (**permalink**) 16th April, 2004, 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by R0BB23

The reality is though that despite the parents best efforts, their child could still turn out to be screwed up. Why should someone tear themselves apart with guilt after there childs commited suicide or to become a criminal if they did all they could?

I think that really bears the question. "Did they do EVERYTHING that they could?!?!"

Quote:

Originally Posted by R0BB23

Ha, this thread reminds me of a line from Akira Kurosawa's Stray Dogs, "Mothers are the best prosecutors."

Nice saying, I like it.
Rob

R0BB23 · #15 (**permalink**) 16th April, 2004, 07:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by robbie

I think that really bears the question. "Did they do EVERYTHING that they could?!?!"

Yes that really is the question. I guess well all have our own level of what was the best. Hopefully, people wont be too nit picky with there judgments.

Gizmo · #16 (**permalink**) 16th April, 2004, 07:28 PM

Regardless of the reason, no parent should ever have to outlive their own child. That is just wrong on so many levels.

In 30 years, I NEVER saw my Grandfather cry one time, EXCEPT the day my Dad died, and again at my Dad's funeral. The light left his eyes that day, and he was never the same. And this was a situation where there clearly was no fault, and Grandpa didn't blame himself for Dad's death.

Now, imagine that you are a parent who cares about your child that deeply. A parent whose child has been a source of heartache and problems, and you have tried everything you can think of to put your child on the straight and narrow, to no avail. And then your child commits suicide, or dies while commiting a crime.

Under those conditions, reason is gone. All venier of civilization is stripped away. All that is left is the raw emotion of loss and grief.

People react to such conditions in different ways, each according to their nature.

Yes, there are good parents and bad parents. We all like to think we are good parents, but if we are honest with ourselves we also have to admit that we could always do better, IMHO.

Just some thoughts....