Another funny joke... alright, VERY FUNNY

[Pinky]

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:

1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.

2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.

3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.

4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J. C.

7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.

8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the **** out of him.

9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey don't say he was stoned off his ass.

10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."

11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me"

12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry."

13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God.

14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

[Pinky]

The last few may not be intended for our younger viewers... like anyone under 12 years of age

None the less... 95% of it is really funny

[Lionfish]

ROFLMFAO!!!!

Allmost spit my coffee out

[William]

read this about two years ago, I must say my Youth Minister found it extremely amusing.

[clboertien]

HAHAHAHA, oops, there's goes a rib. I definetly gotta post this at a few churches. Some may have a sense of humor, the rest will probably started a lynch mob. (The local chuch is full of deadbeats, that believe GOD IS LAW). HEHEHE can't catch me.

[Superman]

That is good stuff.

[CeleryMan]

LOL. Simply put, GOOD ONE DUDE!!!

[cloasters]

Yarr, Pinky. This one was worth typing--and reading. Thanks!

[dimmreaper]

Originally posted by Pinky
9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey don't say he was stoned off his ass.

LMAO . . .

[mookydooky]

This is good, real good. I might have to post one later on to compete for attention!

Mook.

[Wa11y]

What's the worst part about getting a lung transplant?












Coughing up someone else's flem.

[Kris]

lmao